Thursday, July 4, 2013

And Afterwards, It Did

Old Woman: Why is it snowing grandma? Where does it come from?
Little Girl: Oh that's a long story, sweetheart.
Little Girl: I wanna hear it.
Old Woman: Not tonight. Go to sleep.
Little Girl: I'm not sleepy. Tell me, please.
Old Woman: Well, let's see. I guess it would have to start with scissors.
Little Girl: Scissors?
Old Woman: Well, there are all kinds of scissors. And once there was even a man who had scissors for hands.
Little Girl: A man?
Old Woman: Yes.
Little Girl: Hands scissors?
Old Woman: No, scissor hands. You know that mansion, on top of the mountain?
Little Girl: It's haunted.
Old Woman: Well, a long time ago, an inventor lived in that mansion. He made many things I suppose. He also created a man. He gave him insides: a heart, a brain, everything, well, almost everything. You see, the inventor was very old. He died before he got to finish the man he had invented. So the man was left by himself, incomplete and all alone.

Edward: I'm not finished.

Esmeralda: It's not heaven he's from! It's straight from the stinking flames of hell! The power of Satan is in him; I can feel it. Can't you? Have you poor sheep strayed so far from the path?
Edward: We're not sheep.
Esmeralda: Don't come near me!

Kim: It must have been awful when they told you whose house it was.
Edward: I knew it was Jim's house.
Kim: You... you did?
Edward: Yes.
Kim: ...Well, then why'd you do it?
Edward: Because you asked me to.

The Inventor (Vincent Price): [to Edward] Let us pretend that we are in the drawing room and the hostess is serving tea. Now many numerous little questions confront us. Should the man rise when he accepts his cup of tea? May lump sugar be taken with the fingers? No. Is it good form to accept a second cup? Should the napkin be entirely unfolded or should the centre crease be allowed to remain? It is so easy to commit embarrassing blunders, but etiquette tells us just what is expected of us and guards us from all humiliation and discomfort. Mm, yes. Boring. Let us switch to, uh, to some poetry, hm? 'There was an old man from the Cape, who made himself garments of crepe. When asked: will they tear? He replied: Here and there, but they keep such a beautiful shape!' That's right. Go ahead, smile, it's funny. That's right.

Kim (as an old woman): She never saw him again. Not after that night.
Little Girl: How do you know?
Kim: Because I was there.
Little Girl: You could have gone up there! You still could go!
Kim: No sweetheart. I'm an old woman now. I would rather he remembers me the way I was.
Little Girl: How do you know he's still alive?
Kim: I don't know. Not for sure. But I believe he is. You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now, I don't think it would be snowing. Sometimes you can still catch me dancing in it.

- Fan art by Tami

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